Spent the weekend at Women of Faith in St. Louis. I was amazed as I watched Patsy Clairmont, Marilyn Meberg and Luci Swindoll. Marilyn is 70, Luci is 76, and Patsy is probably in her late 60s. They are still very sharp in their mind, joyful in their attitude, energetic in their step. I so want to be those women. I want to be sharp and joyful and energetic. Even as Luci talked about some of her health problems, she was grateful that they weren't more serious. She gave thanks that the doctor only told her that she needed to lose 80 lbs. before he could do knee surgery. She was grateful that it wasn't cancer or diabetes, etc.
I so want to be that.
The weekend was such a contrast to my real life. I am dealing with my Mother, whom I did NOT call last Monday. I felt I needed a break for one Monday. I tried Monday after Monday for the last 7 weeks. And it never got better. Constant negativity and complaining and refusal to see herself in reality. Taking that break from her was hard - because of the guilt and the fear that I would feel the repercussions. But that didn't happen. I called her this morning and it seemed like she is back to her old self. Which isn't exactly peachy, but it is much better than it has been in the last several weeks.
My Mother is 73. But she is nothing like Luci or Marilyn or Patsy. She is grouchy about her life. She is slow to move. Her mind is not to be trusted anymore. She has no joy, no energy. I do not want to be like that.
And we are again dealing with Jerry's Dad, who is also 73. He was in the hospital last week. He only goes when he can basically no longer put it off. His pastor and wife had to take him to the ER because he was in St. Louis and too sick to drive home. They did some tests to find out why he was losing blood again. It stems from an old surgery and they can not fix it and he will have to do blood transfusions for as long as he lives. He came home last Wednesday and is already very sick. He was sick over the weekend again. Weak. Losing blood. But refusing to go to the hospital. He is ready to die. The man is only 73. It is pitiful. His children are angry with him for not wanting to fight for his life. He has a grandson who is 2 years old and who will have no memory of his PaPa, unless PaPa decides he wants to stick around. It is frustrating. And Jerry's Mom is not pushing him to get to the doctor. I think she has pushed and fought for so many years that she is worn out. I do NOT want to be like that. I do not want to be ready to give up at 73.
When I look at Luci and Marilyn and Patsy and see how they are still giving and blessing and doing, all for God's glory, I realize how sad it is that our parents have allowed themselves to get to this state.
I don't want to be like that. I want to be more. I want to be a blessing and not a burden. I want to make my children and grandchildren laugh, not make them crazy with frustration. I want to sing praises to Jesus until my very last breath leaves this body. I don't want to use my breath to grumble and be pitiful.
If you are around when I am 70 or 73 or 76, please hold me accountable to my dreams.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Boring Info
I hate when I go so long between posts. On the other hand, I really try to wait until there is something interesting to post about.
VBS consumed me last week, and most of the week before. It is a great week in the life of our church, but it is always so tiring. We had 159 different kids that attended sometime throughout the week and over 80 adults who volunteered. It's just a crazy fun week. But now I'm trying to get my mind set back on the usual stuff.
Summer is supposed to conjure up images of sipping lemonade, kicked back in a chair, maybe reading a book, watching children play in the park or at the beach, sunsets, and you know all the pictures.
But my Summer has been swamped with a full calendar, at least in my head. I started a Bible study on Wednesday mornings which is going terrific. We started a weekly small group in our home last night, which also went great. We are starting to kick in to that swim-meet madness. We have one tonight that is nearly 2 hours away, ugh. Tomorrow is Bible study and then I head directly to Mt. Carmel (45 min from here) to take care of some things for my new secretary position for Hickory Grove Great Banquet. Saturday is an all day swimming meet about an hour from here. Maddie leaves for her first camp of the Summer on Sunday. Which is also Father's Day. On Monday I am driving to St. Louis to pick up one of Logan's friends who will be here to visit for a week. Next Friday, I leave with 17 women to go to the Women of Faith conference in St. Louis (still have some details I need to attend to for that trip). The Thursday after that, our friends from Missouri will arrive for a fun, long weekend! We will be squeezing a trip to Moonshine in, as well as finding time for their daughter to take Logan's senior pictures. They will leave on a Monday, and on Tuesday I will take Maddie to St. Louis to meet her best friend and head back to Harrisonville where she will stay for a week.
There are some other things that will take place amidst all the things listed above, but you get the general idea. And those details just get us to the first week of July. I have learned in my old age that I just have to deal with the 'next' thing. If I try to process too many events at once, I get overwhelmed and stressed out. I just set my radar on the next thing and push 'go.'
Not sure what happened to those lazy, hazy, crazy days of Suuummmmer. There's not much time to be lazy. But the busy days do get a little hazy and make me feel crazy.
VBS consumed me last week, and most of the week before. It is a great week in the life of our church, but it is always so tiring. We had 159 different kids that attended sometime throughout the week and over 80 adults who volunteered. It's just a crazy fun week. But now I'm trying to get my mind set back on the usual stuff.
Summer is supposed to conjure up images of sipping lemonade, kicked back in a chair, maybe reading a book, watching children play in the park or at the beach, sunsets, and you know all the pictures.
But my Summer has been swamped with a full calendar, at least in my head. I started a Bible study on Wednesday mornings which is going terrific. We started a weekly small group in our home last night, which also went great. We are starting to kick in to that swim-meet madness. We have one tonight that is nearly 2 hours away, ugh. Tomorrow is Bible study and then I head directly to Mt. Carmel (45 min from here) to take care of some things for my new secretary position for Hickory Grove Great Banquet. Saturday is an all day swimming meet about an hour from here. Maddie leaves for her first camp of the Summer on Sunday. Which is also Father's Day. On Monday I am driving to St. Louis to pick up one of Logan's friends who will be here to visit for a week. Next Friday, I leave with 17 women to go to the Women of Faith conference in St. Louis (still have some details I need to attend to for that trip). The Thursday after that, our friends from Missouri will arrive for a fun, long weekend! We will be squeezing a trip to Moonshine in, as well as finding time for their daughter to take Logan's senior pictures. They will leave on a Monday, and on Tuesday I will take Maddie to St. Louis to meet her best friend and head back to Harrisonville where she will stay for a week.
There are some other things that will take place amidst all the things listed above, but you get the general idea. And those details just get us to the first week of July. I have learned in my old age that I just have to deal with the 'next' thing. If I try to process too many events at once, I get overwhelmed and stressed out. I just set my radar on the next thing and push 'go.'
Not sure what happened to those lazy, hazy, crazy days of Suuummmmer. There's not much time to be lazy. But the busy days do get a little hazy and make me feel crazy.
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