I was 4 when Larry died and I have no memory of him at all. His senior picture was displayed in our home so I knew who he was and I knew that he died in a war. Beyond that there wasn't much information about Larry. My family didn't talk about him much. Actually my family didn't talk about much of anything that was intimate or personal or difficult.
As I entered my teen years and did some snooping in my parents' belongings, I found a telegram my dad had received in April 1968 telling him that his son had died in a helicopter crash due to adverse weather conditions. The crash happened over the South China Sea and his body was not recovered. I also found a letter written by Larry's commanding officer telling the story of Larry's heroic actions in an incident in February of the same year he died. Larry was a Marine who flew in medevac missions, rescuing injured soldiers from the field and trying to get them to a medical base before they died. In this particular incident after a long day of several harrowing flights resulting in nearly 100 men beng rescued, Larry was in a helicopter preparing to take off with 17 injured soldiers on board. As the pilot started to lift off the ground a soldier was hit outside their aircraft. Larry jumped out of helicopter, ran to the man amid enemy fire, threw him over his shoulder and made it back to the helicopter. The commanding officer was recommending Larry for a special award for his bravery that day.
That was the extent of my knowledge about my half-brother's service and death as a United States Marine.
My father died in 1983 and what I knew of Larry's death was all that he knew. There were no other details.
Growing up we knew that Larry's mother had moved to Michigan and had another family. We knew his mother's new last name and that there were 3 other siblings. Although we knew their names this was in the pre-internet years when information was difficult to discover and people were harder to find.
In a quest for information, my sister Debbie made a trip to DC in the mid 80's and later requested and received the investigation report from the accident. Uncovering some pieces of the puzzle only drove us deeper in our quest for more details.
Fast forward to the mid-90's. The internet was exploding with information never before available. My sister, Debbie, found a website run by Vietnam Vets and discovered a detailed account of the accident that claimed our brother's life. To read that story, go here: Larry's Story
Through determination and diligence, Debbie found and contacted the helicopter pilot, Brook. Over the years they communicated occasionally but Debbie was cautious to ask too many questions at that time. Although Brook did not know Larry well, he was able to answer some questions and provide details of that horrific night.
Another fast forward to December of 2017. Brook sent Debbie a message saying he had received an email from Larry's sister, Nina. Brook didn't know that name and was confused because he didn't know Larry had other sisters besides myself and Debbie.
Debbie knew the name Nina. She knew that was Larry's half-sister on his mom's side. She had searched for Larry's family for years but came up empty every time because names were changed when marriages took place and shortly after Larry's death, his family moved to a smaller town in Michigan.
Debbie immediately contacted Nina and that's when the floodgate began. There was a bit of worry that Nina would be closed to talking to us because of the divorce/half-sibling situation. Sometimes families turn things ugly when divorce takes place but gratefully that did not happen.
I should note here that Debbie is 7 years older than me and has many memories of Larry. She looked up to him and had felt a gaping loss when he died. The same was true for Nina because she was also older and had dear memories of Larry. Because I was so young, I only knew Larry through stories. I have been a privileged bystander this last year as this story has unfolded. Although it doesn't have the same personal impact on me that it does on my sister, my life was altered because of what happened in Vietnam.
Over the last 8 months Debbie and Nina have shared pictures of Larry as well as cards and letters written by Larry. Larry's mom received his personal effects after he died and Nina now has possession of those things. Debbie shares each email with me so that I can share her joy in discovering new details of Larry.
We have been able to read letters Larry received from our family members while he was in Vietnam. We've seen letters, cards, and postcards that Larry mailed from Vietnam. We were able to see the letters Larry wrote just hours before he died.
There have been countless moments in the last 8 months that feel insanely surreal. Not only have we learned more about Larry, but Nina has told us things we didn't know about our own father through stories that her mom shared with her before she died.
Many mornings I have sat down to read a new email and been reduced to tears in minutes. I feel like pieces of the puzzle of my life are being put into place when I never knew they were missing. This story has been 50 years in the making!
Last weekend was the high point of this 50 year puzzle. There is a large groups of Marine Vietnam vets who gather every 2 years in different locations around the country for a reunion. This year the reunion was held in St. Louis on a weekend that I happened to be in the country. Because of our travel plans I was only able to attend the Friday night dinner and missed the other weekend events.
Brook drove from California to be there. Nina flew from Michigan. Debbie and I were thrilled that it all took place in our hometown.
We heard stories from men who knew Larry and remembered him well. Over and over we were told what a truly great guy he was, so kind and always smiling. We were told what we already knew - that Larry was proud to be a Marine! We were able to ask any questions we had. The men were so eager to share information and stories.
It was humbling to be with these men; to know the sacrifices they made for their country, to hear them talk about the men who didn't come home with them, and to listen to their stories told in vivid detail.
Here is a picture of Nina, Debbie, Brook and myself at the dinner:
I am still a little shell-shocked as I think of all that has transpired in the last year. I am humbled, overwhelmed, grateful, and grief-stricken simultaneously.
I have left out many more details than I have included in this narrative.
But I wanted to share our story to give you hope. If you have someone you are looking for, if you have answers without questions, if pieces of your puzzle are missing - - - don't give up! Be diligent in your search and take heart that just maybe someone is out there searching for the same answers, just waiting to find you.
