It happens every time, but this is the first time I've put words to it.
In April I headed to Missouri to surprise my Mom for her birthday. I planned to take her to lunch and my sister was going to meet us there.
I was driving on Highway 64 and I could see the Arch in the distance. And then I took Highway 255 to drop south and go around St. Louis. Soon, the Jefferson Barracks Bridge was in sight (known by locals as simply the JB Bridge). As I approached the bridge I noticed something physical happening to my body. And as I completed the trek across, it was as if my body took a great big long sigh. "Aaaah, I'm home." I felt different just because I was on Missouri soil. I felt comforted and comfortable. I felt at ease and as if everything was familiar.
I grew up in Missouri, and no matter where I have lived in these 46 years - Missouri has always been home. I feel it in my bones, literally.
And as I crossed the bridge in April, I couldn't help wondering if that is what it will feel like when we cross the gates into heaven. Will our bodies breathe a great sigh of relief that the journey is finally over and we have found our way home? Will we feel comforted, and comfortable - as if we have always known this place? Will we feel at ease and will everything seem familiar?
There are days I just can't way to come home!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Dreams
I had a dream last night that left me a little shaken.
I dreamed I was in a vehicle with several people and we were driving down a highway. There was another vehicle behind us and we were going to our destination together. Suddenly we heard some loud noises and as we looked off to our left, over a grove of trees about a mile away, we could see planes and helicopters flying in, dropping bombs. Our country was under attack. The rest of the details are sketchy, but the dream went on for some time. And I even woke up, went back to sleep, and the dream continued. I remember feeling fear and worrying about family members. At one point in the dream, Logan was backing my van out of a parking space. He had Maddie and some other children with him, and for whatever reason he HAD to go and take these kids somewhere. It wasn't an option to not go. I watched him back the van out from a 2nd story apartment window, and after they had driven off, I retreated to a closet with a hidden door in the back where, apparently, we had been hiding out.
I know this dream is weird and the details are bizarre, but here is the point of this post.
I woke from the dream and Jerry was not in bed. And for just a few seconds, I wondered if we really were under attack and if he had gone to gather the kids. And then I wondered if maybe the rapture had happened and I was left behind for some reason. And for just a few seconds, my heart raced out of control.
And then I realized that there are people in other countries who live that dream every single stinking day. They never know when they might be separated from their families. They don't know when the helicopters are going to appear on the horizon, dropping bombs onto their city. Their fear is real. Mine was a dream.
I am not anti-war, please don't take it that way. I believe we have good reasons to be fighting.
But I am also very grateful today for a country that is safe.
I dreamed I was in a vehicle with several people and we were driving down a highway. There was another vehicle behind us and we were going to our destination together. Suddenly we heard some loud noises and as we looked off to our left, over a grove of trees about a mile away, we could see planes and helicopters flying in, dropping bombs. Our country was under attack. The rest of the details are sketchy, but the dream went on for some time. And I even woke up, went back to sleep, and the dream continued. I remember feeling fear and worrying about family members. At one point in the dream, Logan was backing my van out of a parking space. He had Maddie and some other children with him, and for whatever reason he HAD to go and take these kids somewhere. It wasn't an option to not go. I watched him back the van out from a 2nd story apartment window, and after they had driven off, I retreated to a closet with a hidden door in the back where, apparently, we had been hiding out.
I know this dream is weird and the details are bizarre, but here is the point of this post.
I woke from the dream and Jerry was not in bed. And for just a few seconds, I wondered if we really were under attack and if he had gone to gather the kids. And then I wondered if maybe the rapture had happened and I was left behind for some reason. And for just a few seconds, my heart raced out of control.
And then I realized that there are people in other countries who live that dream every single stinking day. They never know when they might be separated from their families. They don't know when the helicopters are going to appear on the horizon, dropping bombs onto their city. Their fear is real. Mine was a dream.
I am not anti-war, please don't take it that way. I believe we have good reasons to be fighting.
But I am also very grateful today for a country that is safe.
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