Selfish

I know I have a strong selfish tendency that lives within me. And sometimes I don't even apologize for it.

Today is a "no apologies" day. In our town, and even across my street, kids are leaving for college. Their parents have packed their belongings, loaded their cars, and headed out to different parts of our state. And different parts of our country.

And I sit quietly, afraid to say much, almost afraid to breathe for fear of being noticed. I am happy that I am not packing the car and setting out on a new journey. I am elated that I get one more year of my son at home. I will not brag to many people that we've been granted one more year. But I am so very thankful.

And perhaps this year is a bonus gift from God. Some of the parents saying their goodbyes today know/hope that it is a temporary goodbye. They have dreams/expectations that when college is done, their children will return to their hometown to settle down and create a new life.

I know that will not happen for us. I've known that for a very long time. When we say our goodbyes next fall, it is just the beginning of a long string of goodbyes for our family. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I know my son's dreams are going to take him far away. But for now, I will sit here quietly, trying not to breathe.