Empty Days and Full Days

I went to visit my Mom in the nursing home last weekend. On the long drive over I thought about how empty her days had become in the last several years. She has only been in nursing home since January 2nd, but for many years before that her life had become very sad and mundane.

Empty days. Sitting in a room with only a bed, a chair, and a dresser. Waiting for someone to come and tell you that it's time to eat the next meal. Listening to people moan or yell down the hall. Having strange people just walk into your room at any given moment. Going to sleep with a roommate whose name you can't remember. Days that have no purpose. None at all.

I know none of us has a choice in the matter. Our days have been numbered by our loving Creator. So even though I don't get to choose how many days I get, I have put in my request for Full Days. I don't want empty days. I don't want to get to the end of my life and sit in a room staring at four walls. I don't want to wake up not knowing where I am or who is sleeping in the bed next to me. I don't want my memories to become so faded that they aren't even real (my Mom has memories of things that never even happened).

Full days. Susan lived full days. She crammed more things in a day than I stretch out into a week. Makes me a bit ashamed. She poured her life into other people consistently. Her days were full, even her very last day was filled with adventure, memories, joy and love.

Two lives that are so extremely different. And when we are the ones getting left behind, we wish for others to have many, many days on this earth --- even if they turn into empty days. But if we are the ones leaving, we want to die while the days are still full. Full of life. Full of activity, people, events, memories, love.

Empty Days. Full Days. The reality is that we do have a choice of sorts. We can become self-absorbed and give up when life gets a little harder. Or we can live a life of giving, a life of reaching out. We can do our best to make sure each day we are granted is a full day. What are you doing to make this day a full one?